Having spent a majority of my early 20’s traveling solo, I’m more than used to being perceived as an “easy target” for scams. It’s hard to run away when you have 17kg on your back, and it’s difficult to make a scene when you’re all by yourself 😅 Corrupt police, mafia taxis, street scammers, I’ve had it all. 4-months into my solo South East Asia trip, the constant hassling had worn me down and one day; I snapped.
I was just outside Chiang Mai when a police officer pulled me over. “Passport please.” I was used to this routine. He’d take my passport, I’d get a fake excuse for why my documents weren’t valid and I’d have to pay to get my passport back.
“I don’t have my passport on me, here’s my valid license, international permit and vehicle documents though.” Like clockwork, he launched into the spiel. I offered to go get my passport but warned it would take at least 3-hours to walk there and back.
Either he was trying to double-bluff me, or didn’t care that I’d be walking 3-hours in 40-degree heat under the beating sun… “1000 baht fine [fyi this is WELL above your average traffic bribe] or see you in 3-hours. We’re keeping your bike.”
RAGE. The kind of pent up rage that takes 4-months of being targeted and taken advantage of kind of rage 🤣 I was polite but serious. “No, 300 baht and I’m sorry but you’ll have to wait 3-hours anyway, my cash is also at the hostel.” He looked surprised but didn’t give in. He just nodded.
By this point, several male tourists had driven by on bikes and neither officer had pulled them over. This added fuel to my fire. I was sick of scams and bribes when my daily budget (including accommodation) was $30. I also really didn’t want to walk 3-hours or wander aimlessly to find an ATM. Luckily, this wasn’t my first rodeo. Not only had this amateur put my documents back into my seat compartment, but he hadn’t taken my keys (0/10 corrupt police skills am I right?!). A girl’s gotta do what a girls gotta do. And this girl had decided to steal her bike back.
So how does one go about stealing an illegally confiscated motorbike back off armed police? The plan was simple: play the long game. I walked to a cafe down the street that had a clear sight of their set up, as I was planning on working all day anyway. I was hoping they’d change shifts within 4-5 hours. I needed to suss out whether they passed on the situation to the new cops and wait for them to pull over another tourist. The final step; and the least planned step – I needed to approach while the new police were occupied, hop on my bike and drive away without them seeing 😳
I set up my laptop and started work, it was only 2-hours before the new police arrived. To my dismay, they specifically took them over to my bike and it looked like they explained the situation. It was still under guard. The pent up frustration of countless attempted scams and bribes over the past 4-months of travel was still bubbling, however. I was in this for the long haul, nothing could dishearten me 😂
I’d been at the cafe a full 6-hours before I made my move. Walk don’t run I reminded myself (I’d heard that in a Jason Bourne movie once LOL). I got as close as possible without drawing attention to myself, and then looked at my phone as if I was lost. The great thing about Thailand is that scooters/motorbikes are parked everywhere – while mine was closest to the police, it kind of fit in with the rest of the parked bikes around it.
Boom. They had pulled someone over and were facing away. Just 2-meters behind them, I waltzed straight up to my bike. I popped on my helmet (#DontBeSuspicious #ActNormal), put in my keys and sped off, heart pumping, without even glancing back 😱
That day I might have only saved myself a small bribe, but getting the chance to give a big f-u to corruption and not taking nonsense from a schmuck officer who thought he could take advantage of a young solo traveler – I felt like a nerdy brown “George Clooney” in Oceans 11 😂
Hand on my heart, its still one of the most empowering moments of my life 🤣
Read more: #SuitcaseStories Devil Pools, Predators + Falling Into a Hippo Carcass